Experiencing uncontrolled anger is dangerous to your health. It causes your adrenaline and blood pressure to rise up at above normal levels. Moreover, you could end up hurting someone or doing something that you will regret later on. You see the results destructive anger every day on the news.
Also, uncontrolled anger destroys relationships. I use the word uncontrolled deliberately. everyone gets angry, but what we do with our anger is the heart of the issue.
Here are 8 tips to help you be the one in control of yourself, and not anger.
1) Learn to relax.
Calm yourself down. Take a deep breath. As you exhale, imagine all those bottled-up fury come out of your nose and mouth. Release it and be FRE*E. Repeat this step over and over until you feel peace inside.
Then visualize being in a place where you feel most happy, calm, and relaxed. It may be a place like a beach, garden, scenic locations, or anywhere else you might think of. Just imagine being there and inhaling the essence of your serene environment. By doing this, you will not find it hard to attain inner peace.
2) Pour out your anger in safe outlets.
You had a big quarrel with your former friend. He betrayed your trust. You want vengeance and you're raving mad. Hold it. Restrain yourself.
Try your best to get away from him as far as you can. You don't want to hurt anyone. Anger can possess your brain into doing something that you wouldn't dare do before.
How do you then release your anger if you can't restrict it anymore?
Buy a punching bag, and then pour out all your rage in it. Punch it, not out of control punches, but deliberate controlled punches. Don’t imagine the punching bag as your enemy.
Since anger is such a prevalent emotion in our high-stress societies, we tend to take it for granted. We even consider it a healthy release of pent-up emotions. Yet, at its extreme, anger can kill you or someone else.
When you are angry, adrenaline floods your body, thus stressing all your bodily functions to the maximum. Biologically, this is an emergency situation. It may have saved your ancestors by impelling them to use a club to ward off a charging saber-tooth tiger. And in a war-zone, it might be useful, too. But, as an aspect of daily life, it is a sure way to ruin the smooth functioning of your metabolism.
When you further consider how your blood pressure rises as well, you are talking coronary heart-failure as well.
Anger is deadly. And when it is expressed towards others, can quickly escalate into homicide. In fact, most cases of murder are due to an uncontrollable resentment toward someone else.
Even unexpressed anger has lethal side effects. It can escalate into all sorts of worse mental aberrations and unpleasant life experiences.
Anger, expressed or unexpressed, can ruin your life. It can kill you or someone else. It is not something that you should mistake for a mere character flaw.
Even at lower levels of hostility, anger can cause major upsets. It can ruin your mental and physical health over time, and it definitely ruins all your relationships. Eventually, it can even hurt you financially, create substance abuse, or involve you in a deadly accident.
Anger is neither good nor bad! It is simply energy.
It is your natural emotional energy that arises when you feel like something (or someone) is blocking you from getting what you need or want. For this purpose, anything on the frustration to rage continuum is considered anger.
Without making any judgments about whether you should need or want any particular thing, here is how you can direct your own supercharged energy.
1. Notice that you're angry. Sometimes it is unmistakable -- if you didn't restrain yourself you would be yelling or getting physical -- and getting yourself into trouble. Sometimes it is more subtle: a clenched jaw that almost feels normal, an ache in your gut, tight shoulders, or just snapping at people who haven't done anything wrong.
2. Figure out why you are angry. Again, sometimes it is obvious, and sometimes it is hidden in a jumble of normal activities.
Perhaps many small frustrations have added up to one massive headache.
3. Think about what would need to change for your angry feelings to dissolve completely and be replaced with satisfaction. Sometimes it is a simple as an apology. Sometimes nothing short of a massive change in your environment will do the trick.
4. Use your energy to strategize how you can arrange to make the change happen. If the necessary change is too big to manage all at once, think about a small piece of the bigger change where you can make an impact now.
